The “Grand” Magic

25 Aug

There is much to be said about raising kids these days in our nuclear set ups. We are so wound up in the rights and wrongs of our parenting styles. But take a look back at just one generation before us and see how much help our parents had raising us. They did not refer to forums, blogs, manuals, educational toys and billions of other resources that we have at our disposal today. They did have one very important tool though their parents. Yes our “grand”parents. Would it sound very presumptuous of me to make an observation that we had many more interactions with our grandparents than our children today do? Well if so then speaking strictly about myself, I had the rare opportunity to be primarily raised by my maternal grandmother. Both my parents had full-time jobs and my grandmother spent most of our waking hours caring for us.

Grandparents have an insight about child rearing that we as parents do not. I see my parents reacting so differently to the same temper tantrums that my children have than they did when we were younger. Their patience levels are higher, they are keen observers of every little aspect of my children’s development, and they point out qualities about my children that I overlook. I love watching them interact with my kids….it is pure magic.

Why is this so magical you may wonder? We as parents are so caught up in the moment, we are rarely are able to take a step back and wonder at the marvels we created. But our parents are able to do this, they have the time the patience and most of all the experience to watch and enjoy. This might be the key to why raising kids around grandparents is crucial. Keeping them involved and close is essential. I see so much positive in my kids around my parents, I take more pride in my kids when I see them around my parents. There is of course one down side to this in my case especially, my mother cannot hide her joy seeing me lose my cool around my kids, she secretly chuckles to herself thinking of the hard times I gave her when I was their age. But all that is in good humor.

I know now why I am here in China so close to home in India. A year ago I might not have believed the theory that everything that happens has a solid reason behind it. I have had days and days of pondering, brooding and sulking about being away from home in Dallas and stuck here in China. I have had depressing days about my stay at home status but slowly and surely I have come to one conclusion. I am here because it is close to where my parents are, my kids have spent quality time with their grandparents and their great-grandmother (who is still creating her magic at almost 90) l. Together they are creating their own magic much like I did with my grandmother.

So this one goes out to all those grandparents and their magic. Keep doing what you do because it works.


Renu Venkataraman: I was born and raised in Mumbai, India. I lived in Dallas, Texas for almost 15 years and worked as teacher for special needs kids for 10 of those years. I moved to Chengdu in September 2011 with my husband, two kids and our miniature dachshund Zen. I’m looking at motherhood under a very different light here in Chengdu. It has brought a sense of positivity and purpose to my life in many ways I can’t wait to experience and share with all you other Multicultural Moms.

6 Responses to “The “Grand” Magic”

  1. DesiValentine August 26, 2012 at 12:11 am #

    I never thought I would look forward to being a grandparent, but when I see my kids with my in-laws, the twenty-plus years can’t pass fast enough. There is such a freedom in the confidence that comes with time, you know? It’s a joy to see. Great post.

  2. natasha devalia August 26, 2012 at 1:56 am #

    Really glad your kids got time to spend with their grandparents this sumer.
    I am realising how lucky my children are to have 4 very present, loving, and amazing grandparents. The kids talk about them, miss them, and go on fantasty travels around the World to visit them everyday. And they are not scared to ask them for presents!!

  3. Winnie S. August 27, 2012 at 3:06 am #

    Lovely post! I think having extended family can be really valuable. Possibly people turn so much to blogs, books etc. on child rearing because they don’t have relatives close by.

  4. heidinevin September 12, 2012 at 2:34 am #

    Renu, thank you soooo much. I LOVE this post. And you are so right to honor the Grands among us and to thank them for their magic. That is a huge part of my life, too, and my kids’ life. We would be so much poorer without their presence in our lives. And they are so enriched by their grandchildren’s joy and laughter, too! So happy for you and your family that you’ve been able to reunite somewhat thanks to unforeseen circumstances. May the magic go on and on and on. Lots of love to you.

  5. Soumya Rao October 24, 2012 at 5:36 am #

    Your post resonated with me on multiple levels! I’m an Indian – born and raised in Mumbai and currently living in Houston, and about to move to Chengdu with my husband and our two little girls. I came across your post while researching about Chengdu. I have had this exact same thoughts and feelings when i see my little ones playing and getting pampered by their grandparents!. Hopefully will get a chance to meeting you soon in Chengdu. If you are OK with sharing your email ID I would like to connect with you before I actually move to see if you have any words of wisdom for me!

  6. RENUKA October 24, 2012 at 8:35 am #

    Thanks Soumya, please write to me at
    I will be glad to answer any of your concerns or queries.

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